Monday, June 20, 2011

Thank You, Thank you, Thank you all.

I was completely caught off guard. My gf should be an actor specifically about a scene on being indecisive about whether to eat Pizziolo or Mama's Pizza for dinner. Golden Globe material right there.

I felt so much love for my surprise 24th birthday. I didn't quite know how to react because I'm never caught off guard. When people come out of the closet and everyone's like :O I'm the one that goes "bro, I saw that coming."

But I was left jaw dropped upon seeing all your lovely faces at OB. When the presents came out one by one I felt undeserving. What have I done to deserve so much attention? I'm not so worthy of all this love. Those were not only gifts that cost money which took a section of your life to make but each were so well thought out because you guys know how I'm all about practicality. The fact that you all took time to think about it means the world to me.

But what my 24th surprise made me realize was that I've always had this love. For a second I thought "this is the first time I've experienced love." No...I'm ungrateful. I've always been ungrateful because I don't learn to appreciate what I have.  My life was always filled with love...even though my family was broken as a whole my individual parents love me to death no doubt. My friends have given an only child the knowledge of boys have given me security to be vulnerable. If I fall you all will catch. If I plunge I know you'll follow. Esther, you have shown me love every single day since we've been together. Through my harshness and critical ways I hope you understand it's only because you matter to me in more ways than I think you understand.

I love the gifts. I will put each and every one to good use. I'm going to get jacked from the bowflex. I'm going to wear that sweater whenever I feel chilly. I'm going to score goals and share memories from hockey while looking like a ninja. I'm going to enjoy countless hours of gaming and trading with the motherboard and monitor. And I will remember to refine myself.

Thank You God for giving me the best gift on this 24th. My heart softened and I have learned to be grateful. I've always placed wisdom above all else but I've realized wisdom gets capped when we stop being ungrateful. Being grateful lets us be vulnerable. We feel. Because we feel we can truly live. Experiences that are absorbed produces the capacity to generate wisdom. A hard heart cannot be humble. A hard heart cannot be wise.

Thank you all for the love. I hope through my actions I can convince that I love you all too.
Esther, you are an amazing gf. I love you even though you love to embarrass me on purpose in front of every one.