Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I'm not a smart man...but I know what love is.

Forrest Gump: Will you marry me? 
[Jenny turns and looks at him] 
Forrest Gump: I'd make a good husband, Jenny. 
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest. 
Forrest Gump: ...But you won't marry me. 
Jenny Curran: [sadly] ... You don't wanna marry me. 
Forrest Gump: Why don't you love me, Jenny? 
[Jenny says nothing] 
Forrest Gump: I'm not a smart man... but I know what love is. 

Sigh, this coming from a man with an IQ of 76. He knows what love is and I have no clue. My IQ's literally double of his. 

People probably struggle to place a finger on what that word means anyway - I know I'm not alone in that. Most people down play the meaning of love and other people assume they know what it is. It's worse than playing with fire because you'll either burn yourself or someone else. Burns leave a scar and hurt for a bit; but these burns sear themselves deep within a person and changes them forever. People who are love burned are scared: they have low self esteem and lose a chunk of hope.

But every once in a while God throws me a fricken bone and shows me a glimpse of love through people. It restores a little bit of hope and eases the pain that seems to have oddly numbed me. A connection like that with a person is certainly rare so I'll cherish the memories. 

But I'm still jealous of this verging on mildly retarded guy. He KNOWS what it is. I'm scrapping together little pieces.

Maybe the drill sergeant said it best:

Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump.

There is still no movie that tops Forrest Gump for me. Bittersweet hope for a bittersweet man living a bittersweet life. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The A Cup

I'm blunt. So blunt half my blog posts have no introduction. Bam. Straight to the point. I don't know what a comma is. Simple. Clean. Meaningful.

That's who I am and those are the people I get along with. I see no need to change because I attract people that are real. Fake people see me and run because they shudder at my approach to things. You're being a dumbass? I'll call you out. I think you're awesome? You'll get complimented. Fake people can only accept the latter. Fake people don't get the latter from me.

Keeping it A cup is cool in a worldy manner and for the most part no one will really complain.

God's complaining though. And I can't do it any longer.

Keeping it real like A cup tittays will no longer resound in my life. I'm gonna stuff the shit out of that bra. Why? Fake people like the big boobs. It attracts them. They're not capable of seeing through meaningless things to the meaningful.

But if I deem myself the realest then I better be able to to see through my own mask. Fake people need Christ too. Me keeping it comfortably real isn't bringing fake people to Christ. So as real as I can keep it, I've decided to change. If I must be fake to make fake people happy, then I will. Commas will be introduced; heck, even semi colons.

If being fake will turn fake people real...then I will become them.

"19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."

Paully kept it pretty real. Dude was all about the A cups for sure.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

So Much Going Through My Mind

Recently so much things have been going through my mind. So many things about life, relationships, God. But I got no one to spill it to. Even if I do, they just hear it but don't really get me.

It's cold and lonely inside my mind. There's one person that gets me. But I'm scared to share. Somewhere down the line I know the coldness will thaw. Small embers, sparks will fly; and we'll be slow dancing in a burning room.

I don't like playing with fire. I hate getting burned. But that warmth is awfully fascinating and it's hard to keep my hand away from the soft comfort that it brings. If even momentarily relief, I may succumb.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Ghandi Says...

You should not have...

1. Wealth without work
2. Pleasure without conscience
3. Knowledge without character
4. Commerce without morality
5. Science without humanity
6. Worship without sacrifice
7. Politics without principles
Now, you nod along as you read; but can you explain why? What could happen if the latter is attained without the former? Deep thoughts.