1. I saw the most beautiful girl again. I fluttered inside when she smiled at me and gave me a cut eye at the same time.
3. I NEED inspiration to keep me plowing through to what God's told me to chase.
4. If God says no, I'm man enough to deal with it.
5. On Saturday I heard her live. Her voice got me through endless study nights in high school. Low fi crappy quality but it got me to where I need to be; where I am now. (By endless study nights I mean literally 2 hrs per school year hahaha. But she got me through it)
6. I listen to music in order to stay focused and motivated; others I surveyed listen to it for completely different reasons. Respect to music: one of the most powerful things in creation.
7. My Korean is getting worse.
8. So is my Chinese.
9. I respect Roy more today than two days ago; I'm proud of him too.
10. My mustache is starting to look ugly(er).
11. I feel God when I work the heavy bag.
12. My xbox broke. I didn't feel any anger. =)
13. I'm getting more and more hungry nowadays (concerning food, goals, God)
14. I love my family but have a hard time expressing it. I hope I don't have anything withheld with my future gf/wife/family.
15. I love my friends; If I'm harsh it's because I care.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Being bold and humble is just what the title says; it's a mentality that's hard to grasp and easily stepped over into unbalanced territory.
One could easily seem arrogant and another lacking confidence trying to juggle these juxtaposing perspectives on their own self image. Personally, I have no trouble living out the first one. I couldn't care less about what people think of me. You think I'm awesome? I know. You should. You think I'm abrasive? That's nice.
I don't live my life the way I do to get your approval of who I am. But the poison of this is that I start to lose sight of who I want to become. Sometimes, caring about other people's judgement on you forces you maintain upkeep on your character. The deadlier poison is that YOUR CHARACTER is tied to the string of another persons opinion; regardless of whether that person is an idiot or not.
I realized that at the end of the day you keep yourself in check by realizing you're terribly ugly. Try your best to get better and refine those rough edges. But when people put you down; shrug it off. Who are you to fear another person? They're just people.
I'm on Romans now on my daily readings. Today it spoke mountains to me. Truth is, I'm an upstanding guy. I know it, you know it. But just because that's the case it doesn't mean my refinement stops there. You don't know it, I now know it. Read Romans 1:18-1:...whatever end of chapter is.
We all look in the mirror every day. Those verses is the spiritual mirror that we too often ignore. We make sure we're beautiful no matter what people say when we look in the mirror. Makeup, hair, moisturizer, whatever other things you guys/girls/HeShes/SheHes do (I do none of this btw, I'm naturally stunning). When's the last time you took a look in the spiritual mirror. Do you even realize one existed? Do you know what the word repent means? Are you even smart enough to realize how much you sin? I knew it existed; I never looked. I knew the word; just not well enough. I know I sin; but it's more than I thought.
And as grim as this entry is...I'm the one smiling. Because no matter what I think and no matter what they say: even an ugly, crooked, sinful and dreaded human like me remains beautiful and flawless in God's holy eyes. And thankful I am, with a smile I prayed: Jesus, thanks for everything buddy. Amen.