Monday, November 21, 2011

I won't Pretend to be Someone Else for All Time

A good friend of mine once asked me randomly "if you were an object what would it be?" I think it was for interview prep or something...I'm not really sure. I blurted out quickly "I'm a mirror"


Many people I know put on masks to either hide themselves because they're ashamed or because they are not confident in who they are and wonder if they'll truly be accepted. Throughout my life I've realized that whether people choose to reveal themselves to me or not I will show them their reflection. Friends and family will tell lies to spare feelings...I will let you be known on who and what you are. Not a lot of people can handle me because truth is harsh. When you hide behind a mask for so long it becomes comfortable behind facade. Revealing truth is like peeling a scab before it's ready. (I love doing it, it's addicting but it's not my scab.)

Then there are people with no confidence and see a lie about themselves that they aren't good enough. I will always tell the truth that they are worth more than they give themselves credit for. You deserve to feel the love that you have robbed yourself of. Do not despair.

More importantly than reflecting what's in front of me is the science behind it all. For a mirror to work light must be present and ample. Dim lighting results in distorted images. God being my light I need Him at all times to be functioning properly. When I lose hope and the world seems so dim I no longer do my job as intended. The ugliness of people aren't pointed out because I no longer care. The beauty of people aren't pointed out because I no longer see.

Throughout my life, because of age...I've had many people push aside my views and insights with the statement "what do you know, you're a kid." Now that I'm growing older I resent it even more. "what do you know, so what you're an adult?" I still know nothing. All I know is what I see. Mirror sees all that you do. We as people do not see us 24/7 we see others 24/7. The problem is that few of us ever take the time looking at ourselves. And it gets uncomfortable when others peer into your true nature. Judgement is not painful if you painfully judged yourself. I know this from experience.

Sadly, and lastly...mirrors are objective and have no bias or feelings. I feel like somehow I'm robbed of all of that. I'm objective in my praise and criticisms that I dish out. People with feelings will not understand that. They will think I'm unfair or an ass. I can understand that because they do not see the world  or feel as I do. I can understand they can't grasp my feelings because it is rare to find someone with such a hardened heart.

Sometimes I wish instead of a mirror that I can be just a sheet of glass. I wish someone can see through me inside out. I wish that I didn't need light or darkness to function. I wish I had more of a function than revealing people to themselves.

Then God says to me...darkness has no purpose for you. A mirror is used for more than just people to look at themselves. Mirrors redirect light.

And I realized it's not about being a mirror that's significant but it's about harnessing the light. Concentrate the light and shine it towards the darkness. It doesn't matter what I am and who's reflection is in me.

What do you think you are?

1 comment:

  1. All i know, you are not an asshole, we were so much alike but you chose religion to help you to cope everyday routine and shit, i unfortunately have succumb into a mofo state where i begin to train and beat up those who are either racist or act like they are the shit, i know the truth hurts, maybe that's why i got myself into a few trouble lately. We all need to survive in this society and i personally have to be the bigger asshole who get the job done right, call me psycho, a lot have but i don't give a "FUCK" cause all the pain of yesteryears have made me a stronger person but i'm afraid one day i might explode like a dynamite.

    Sincerely Frank Mao.