He asks me "If 95% of the people know...then why do they still fail?"
"Knowing is different than doing."
Secular conversation about trading forex. Obvious faith based implications. Success for us is just like trading. Better execute what you know; even then, you won't win every time. But execute with faith and know that in the end you will come up on top.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Asia For What It Is
I went on an Asia trip last month with two of my best friends with the other one holding down the fort back here who ended up finding his own little friend. Was it good times? Sure...But when all is said and done and I came back from it all...with all the cute and funny stories I tell people...Asia left a bad taste in my mouth.
I have blogged about Asia. It's just private because I don't want to ruin it for you guys. Go experience it yourself. Maybe we'll have different views.
I have blogged about Asia. It's just private because I don't want to ruin it for you guys. Go experience it yourself. Maybe we'll have different views.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Your Eyes...So Tender
Wow, Asia trip is happening in less than 8 hours. A little rattled, don't know what to expect. What gifts to bring back...business decisions...my mind is clustered with thoughts and can't be at ease.
This trip is going to be awesome. I won't have internet for three weeks, hopefully...See if I can stand the fast. I also won't be able to talk to some people, I will terribly miss them as well. I won't get to see certain people c...and that reality hit me tonight as I realized that for some reason, some people have this calming effect on me. The reason I can stay cool and collected during any situations is that I think of them before I do myself. I can't last without some people's eyes, some people's smile and some people's voice. Crazy epiphany...scary epiphany.
The only regret on this Asia trip is that Roy and Justin couldn't come. Oh also that I don't have a girlfriend that did last minute checks on what I should bring with me =(. I disliked that one so much that I sabotaged the list Karen made for Leo =D.
I'll probably keep a journal for the trip and write it all up when I get back. I know you'll all miss my awesome posts =P.
This trip is going to be awesome. I won't have internet for three weeks, hopefully...See if I can stand the fast. I also won't be able to talk to some people, I will terribly miss them as well. I won't get to see certain people c...and that reality hit me tonight as I realized that for some reason, some people have this calming effect on me. The reason I can stay cool and collected during any situations is that I think of them before I do myself. I can't last without some people's eyes, some people's smile and some people's voice. Crazy epiphany...scary epiphany.
The only regret on this Asia trip is that Roy and Justin couldn't come. Oh also that I don't have a girlfriend that did last minute checks on what I should bring with me =(. I disliked that one so much that I sabotaged the list Karen made for Leo =D.
I'll probably keep a journal for the trip and write it all up when I get back. I know you'll all miss my awesome posts =P.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
My Heart Aches
It's close to a year now since we've broken up and not once did we talk. I don't know what it is or why it is...but my heart never healed and not for one single day did I forget about you. Is this a sign of a mistake that our stubborn selves created? Are you happy? Are you ok? How is life?
I can't bear the sight of you without having my heart thump. I saw a girl walking outside the other day that looked like you and I couldn't catch my breath for 15 minutes. I see a girl at the gym that looks like you and I end my workout. I don't have the strength or courage to even confirm that it is you. I hid your updates of any sort on facebook. I see the name Sandra and my insides ring for a split second. I debate endlessly whether I should talk to you or not and I always conclude it's not a good idea. My phone breaks and the only number I know off by heart is yours. Is it even still the same number?
Today, for the first time, I gathered up enough courage to go on your profile on facebook. I just wanted to know if you're doing well...if you're ok...if you've made new friends and good friends. Karen once told me that you looked happy from your facebook updates and I told her to stop there. I was too cowardly to hear about your life. On your birthday I wanted to say happy birthday. I wanted to take you out...I wanted to say hi.
On my birthday, there was a slight want in my heart that you'd say hi to me too. It didn't happen. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen.
There's been so many times that I tried to like other girls. No use. You're irreplaceable to me...even if some day I get married to another woman I truly love...I still think that you forever claimed a piece of my heart. I realized the other day that there is a possibility that no other girl after you will be able to fully own my love. Whether that is a hurt soul talking or reality, only time will tell.
Why blog about something ridiculous like this? Because I put on a smile...I'm loud and cheerful. I wear a mask to hide the hurt. My closest friend's are still confused to as why I'm still caught up. I don't know. I'm desperate to stop this hurting because it's eating my soul away.
I can't bear the sight of you without having my heart thump. I saw a girl walking outside the other day that looked like you and I couldn't catch my breath for 15 minutes. I see a girl at the gym that looks like you and I end my workout. I don't have the strength or courage to even confirm that it is you. I hid your updates of any sort on facebook. I see the name Sandra and my insides ring for a split second. I debate endlessly whether I should talk to you or not and I always conclude it's not a good idea. My phone breaks and the only number I know off by heart is yours. Is it even still the same number?
Today, for the first time, I gathered up enough courage to go on your profile on facebook. I just wanted to know if you're doing well...if you're ok...if you've made new friends and good friends. Karen once told me that you looked happy from your facebook updates and I told her to stop there. I was too cowardly to hear about your life. On your birthday I wanted to say happy birthday. I wanted to take you out...I wanted to say hi.
On my birthday, there was a slight want in my heart that you'd say hi to me too. It didn't happen. Maybe it wasn't meant to happen.
There's been so many times that I tried to like other girls. No use. You're irreplaceable to me...even if some day I get married to another woman I truly love...I still think that you forever claimed a piece of my heart. I realized the other day that there is a possibility that no other girl after you will be able to fully own my love. Whether that is a hurt soul talking or reality, only time will tell.
Why blog about something ridiculous like this? Because I put on a smile...I'm loud and cheerful. I wear a mask to hide the hurt. My closest friend's are still confused to as why I'm still caught up. I don't know. I'm desperate to stop this hurting because it's eating my soul away.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sound Julie's Ring Tone: Sudden Epiphany
Khang and I were watching Naruto and through a freaking cartoon I realized something so huge about myself. Ready?
I have an odd attraction to girls who are quiet and reserved. Girls that don't speak much but have plenty of deep thoughts and are kind and gentle but scared to show it. I guess opposites do attract because I talk plenty but have next to no deep thoughts and I'm not kind nor gentle and am not scared to show it =).
But yea, I never would have thought that I'm attracted to the standard labeled awkward silent girl. It's so funny because as soon as I told Khang he threw back at me "ESTHER OH?" HAHAHAHA.
Esther Oh is NOT that type of girl guys. Cmon now.
Anyway, the girl in Naruto is Hinata. Have no clue why I find her so cute...her shyness really gets to me. Oh, and the best part: when girls like that gather up courage and strength to do something outside of their own shy bubble..it's the most inspirational thing ever. Makes me feel like I can do anything for her because she's willing to risk her comfort for me.
Yea, before you make fun of me for liking a girl in anime...y'all dream of vampires with Kim Jong Il hair and shit. We're even.
I have an odd attraction to girls who are quiet and reserved. Girls that don't speak much but have plenty of deep thoughts and are kind and gentle but scared to show it. I guess opposites do attract because I talk plenty but have next to no deep thoughts and I'm not kind nor gentle and am not scared to show it =).
But yea, I never would have thought that I'm attracted to the standard labeled awkward silent girl. It's so funny because as soon as I told Khang he threw back at me "ESTHER OH?" HAHAHAHA.
Esther Oh is NOT that type of girl guys. Cmon now.
Anyway, the girl in Naruto is Hinata. Have no clue why I find her so cute...her shyness really gets to me. Oh, and the best part: when girls like that gather up courage and strength to do something outside of their own shy bubble..it's the most inspirational thing ever. Makes me feel like I can do anything for her because she's willing to risk her comfort for me.
Yea, before you make fun of me for liking a girl in anime...y'all dream of vampires with Kim Jong Il hair and shit. We're even.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dear Self
What happened to you? I see your shell and nothing inside.
You used to be so much stronger and strong willed. Has one bump on the road crippled you for good? Your drive, commitment, hunger and willpower melted away with the snow from past seasons.
You preach integrity and honor yet cannot even hold up your own standards 80% of the time. I only ask you to do well 80% of the time and you can't. Stop failing yourself.
Humble your mind and accept your inadequacies. Open your heart and accept others. Having a soft heart isn't good enough. You need hard hands to carry out that will. Don't pity yourself and play victim; it isn't an excuse to be passive. It'd ridiculous that you have to write yourself a letter and show others how weak you are. But you need it. If other people see the ugly you will be forced to change.
I think life has dwindled you down. Before you thought you were Atlas and could carry the world on your shoulders; only now to realize you need support from those around you. Too proud to seek it; too foolish to accept it.
You think that finding the right girl will mitigate all this ugliness you possess. Who are you kidding? No girl should be with you with this much darkness burdened onto them. They don't deserve to share your baggage.
Mistakes were made. You can't change it. This is the ugly truth and said so harshly to yourself for the world to see. Keep your head up kid, you still have a long way to go. Every choice we make has a good and evil consequence. Just make sure you try your best to lean towards the light.
Oh, and stop falling for girls so easily. You idiot.
You used to be so much stronger and strong willed. Has one bump on the road crippled you for good? Your drive, commitment, hunger and willpower melted away with the snow from past seasons.
You preach integrity and honor yet cannot even hold up your own standards 80% of the time. I only ask you to do well 80% of the time and you can't. Stop failing yourself.
Humble your mind and accept your inadequacies. Open your heart and accept others. Having a soft heart isn't good enough. You need hard hands to carry out that will. Don't pity yourself and play victim; it isn't an excuse to be passive. It'd ridiculous that you have to write yourself a letter and show others how weak you are. But you need it. If other people see the ugly you will be forced to change.
I think life has dwindled you down. Before you thought you were Atlas and could carry the world on your shoulders; only now to realize you need support from those around you. Too proud to seek it; too foolish to accept it.
You think that finding the right girl will mitigate all this ugliness you possess. Who are you kidding? No girl should be with you with this much darkness burdened onto them. They don't deserve to share your baggage.
Mistakes were made. You can't change it. This is the ugly truth and said so harshly to yourself for the world to see. Keep your head up kid, you still have a long way to go. Every choice we make has a good and evil consequence. Just make sure you try your best to lean towards the light.
Oh, and stop falling for girls so easily. You idiot.
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