He is not hiding; We are not seeking.

He is not hiding; We are not seeking: 1 John 4:7 
 
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God

Reflection:

A while ago Pastor Darrick preached and used "Where's Waldo" as an anecdote to our relationship with God. I decided to read and play the actual book because I remembered as a kid how frustrating it was. Quickly I realized nothing's really changed as I struggle to find Waldo's signature hat, glasses and sweater. After a bit of reflection I've come to realize that God is indeed similar to Waldo and is elusive to us in many ways. However, as with anything in life, we can approach a problem aimlessly or do so in a strategic manner.

For so many churches and pastors stress and focus our need to find God that it becomes almost a command without instructions. We stare into the pages of life stressing to find God. Unlike Waldo God is not hiding from us. That is never God's purpose for He is simply amongst us. Like Waldo, when we seek God we look for His signature miracles, healing, and answer to prayers. I dare assume that when we read Where's Waldo, not many of us ever paid attention to all the colorful and entertaining characters other than him that the author created. We are so tunnel visioned by Waldo because humans are creatures that need to feel accomplished and fulfilled. Our objective driven minds didn't stop to enjoy the rest of the book...we just want results - right now.

The ironic part of it all is when we stop to appreciate all of the other characters and the entertaining things they're doing we are guaranteed to find Waldo.  If we approach finding Waldo in such manner we might be pleasantly surprised by how much more enjoyable the book really is. I started to stop looking for Waldo all together. Yes, it took me longer to find him on some pages I must admit. But I was never frustrated nor ever thought of giving up. In the journey of finding Waldo I've chuckled and laughed through looking into the lives of all the other characters.

Challenge: 
It's funny how sometimes we think just because we are focused on finding God that we will find Him. God planned our lives and placed Himself in it along with everyone else that's in our lives. The people we meet, things we experience and emotions we go through were never meant hide Him. Its intent was for us to grow, learn and enjoy. If we unfocus our compulsion for direct results and simply love and appreciate all the people and situations God had authored...well, we just may find Him yet.

The Street is Silent

The Street is Silent: Proverbs 15:13-14 ESV 

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly

Reflection:

Last Friday as I was leaving from my work's Christmas lunch I hear on the radio of the heart wrenching horror in Sandy Hook. In an instant  my face was no longer cheerful as sorrow filled my heart. I literally felt crushed.

During my drive home I imagine myself in the shoes of the teachers, parents, and children. Sadness? Hopelessness? Courage? Broken? Sure...all of those I felt. Sadly any feelings were blanketed by rage and anger. I was shaking. I turn off the radio because the Christmas music was making me tremble with fury. Those kids probably walked into school that morning innocently pondering what mommy and daddy got them for Christmas. They don't even quite understand what love is yet but they know they can't wait to share that day with their family. The parents probably spent days looking into what to make their kids happy on Christmas and where the best hiding spot is. But they'll never know.

Slowly I park my car as tears come down and I am angry with God. I am angry at the shooter. I am angry at his parents.

Really though, what is the point of being angry at anyone? Would my anger revive the dead? Would my anger at God change His plans? Would my anger make anyone better off? No my anger is foolish and so is everyone else's.

We can point our fingers and blame the lack of gun control, we can go on for hours on how the killer was a heartless psycho and we can say it was out of anyone's control. We will do all we can to disassociate the possibility that we had anything to do with it. Lanza isn't the first and he won't be the last unless we, and by we I don't mean everyone else in society other than ourselves, do something about it.

I slow my thoughts down and put myself in the shoes of Lanza. Adam was literally the embodiment of anger mixed with hatred and separation. It's easy to label him as just another monster. But I wonder if he must have sustained insurmountable pain for a very long time to have done something like this. He is not Jesus. He is not capable of bearing all of that and overcoming it. 

Yes he was awkward. Don't we know someone that's awkward? Even worse he was creepy. Don't we know someone that's a little creepy? More unbearable was that he just couldn't connect with people. Don't we know someone that just doesn't seem to have friends? But what do we do? We disassociate with those people. They can stay awkward, creepy and alone because I don't want to show them any love. It's too much burden on me.

I am angry at myself. I am one of those people that decided to stay away from Lanza. Multiply that by the size of a town and that was Adam's "life." On that Friday we've lost our cheerful faces and were exposed to a crushed spirit because of Adam. But because of us, I dare say Adam had long lost his cheerful face: his spirit, long crushed before ours.

I ponder had only one person truly connected with Adam; if fate would have changed, not only for himself but the lives he took.

Challenge: 
We meet people, see events and experience life; and to cope, we always compartmentalize the flurry of information on a daily basis. "That event was lame, not going ever. That was fun, let's doing it again. I hate this person, they're so awkward. I love that person, they're so like me." We compartmentalize and never let one seep into the other. But love can transcend our walls because it is the key that unlocks those compartments.  

Days like these need silence. Not a moment of silence for those who passed but silence to refrain our mouths from feeding hatred with hate. Instead it is with clear eyes that we ought to seek love which allows us to connect. When we connect we beget understanding. Those two are key pillars to healing not to just others but ourselves. For Christ did not defeat sin through the act of revival. Sin was defeated through Christ's love and revival was merely a metaphor. 

We cannot revive those who've perished. But with love we can revive hope and with hope a brighter tomorrow.


       

Word.S.unpoken for a Long Time

Stop Moving: Romans 9:20 
But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?”

Reflection: 

Don't we all question our self worth? All of us worry to some extent what other people think of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, if we have the courage to dig deep and admit this truth then we can also admit that somewhere along the line our opinions of our own self worth is intertwined with opinions from society. We strive and operate to be deemed not only socially acceptable but socially revered. Because at the end of the day we enjoy praise, just as God as we're made in His image.

But what happens when we fail? We destroy our self worth as social opinions weigh down on us. We subconsciously accept that our self worth is a function of our own opinions and the opinions of others. Somewhere along there we exclude God; because really, who hears God cheering them on every day?

But where is our faith? We are His canvas and he paints us. To any true artist, their work, no matter how socially accepted, is beauty in their own eyes. It's worth isn't monetary but in every bit of their journey and their experience. Every art piece is different. God does not make strokes or dashes without full confidence. God does not smear and botch details or shades. But we, the canvas, cannot sit still and accept God's work. We move and fidget and WANT God to paint the end product WE envision. We want to be revered as much as the Mona Lisa or be as hilarious as the Ecce Homo. But who are we to have the audacity to ask that for that? Should we not be grateful that a painter is pouring His life into us with joy?

Because we move and fidget and God brushes with decisive strokes we ourselves smudge the vision that God has for us. Correcting a mistake on a painting is hard work. He will do it. Shading is abrasive to the canvas and tiring to the painter. He will do it. Painting details require patience and care. He will do it.
The most difficult parts of painting is what makes it beautiful and timeless. It is also memory and experience shared between the art piece and the artist. From the moment our life begins to the moment it's finished, it is God's painting and his masterpiece to show. Whether other people hold any value to it is irrelevant to Him and we mustn't forget that.

Daily Challenge:
Sit still and let God paint. Hang on as the shading shreds the canvas. Pause and absorb the vision of God.

I won't Pretend to be Someone Else for All Time

A good friend of mine once asked me randomly "if you were an object what would it be?" I think it was for interview prep or something...I'm not really sure. I blurted out quickly "I'm a mirror"

"why?"

Many people I know put on masks to either hide themselves because they're ashamed or because they are not confident in who they are and wonder if they'll truly be accepted. Throughout my life I've realized that whether people choose to reveal themselves to me or not I will show them their reflection. Friends and family will tell lies to spare feelings...I will let you be known on who and what you are. Not a lot of people can handle me because truth is harsh. When you hide behind a mask for so long it becomes comfortable behind facade. Revealing truth is like peeling a scab before it's ready. (I love doing it, it's addicting but it's not my scab.)

Then there are people with no confidence and see a lie about themselves that they aren't good enough. I will always tell the truth that they are worth more than they give themselves credit for. You deserve to feel the love that you have robbed yourself of. Do not despair.

More importantly than reflecting what's in front of me is the science behind it all. For a mirror to work light must be present and ample. Dim lighting results in distorted images. God being my light I need Him at all times to be functioning properly. When I lose hope and the world seems so dim I no longer do my job as intended. The ugliness of people aren't pointed out because I no longer care. The beauty of people aren't pointed out because I no longer see.

Throughout my life, because of age...I've had many people push aside my views and insights with the statement "what do you know, you're a kid." Now that I'm growing older I resent it even more. "what do you know, so what you're an adult?" I still know nothing. All I know is what I see. Mirror sees all that you do. We as people do not see us 24/7 we see others 24/7. The problem is that few of us ever take the time looking at ourselves. And it gets uncomfortable when others peer into your true nature. Judgement is not painful if you painfully judged yourself. I know this from experience.

Sadly, and lastly...mirrors are objective and have no bias or feelings. I feel like somehow I'm robbed of all of that. I'm objective in my praise and criticisms that I dish out. People with feelings will not understand that. They will think I'm unfair or an ass. I can understand that because they do not see the world  or feel as I do. I can understand they can't grasp my feelings because it is rare to find someone with such a hardened heart.

Sometimes I wish instead of a mirror that I can be just a sheet of glass. I wish someone can see through me inside out. I wish that I didn't need light or darkness to function. I wish I had more of a function than revealing people to themselves.

Then God says to me...darkness has no purpose for you. A mirror is used for more than just people to look at themselves. Mirrors redirect light.

And I realized it's not about being a mirror that's significant but it's about harnessing the light. Concentrate the light and shine it towards the darkness. It doesn't matter what I am and who's reflection is in me.


What do you think you are?

The Elusive G-Spot

Since the beginning of time men and women have been puzzled and enraged by this odd phenomenon deemed the G-spot. Now some of you holier than thou Christians would probably stop reading right here and have a disgusted face. Have faith for this will benefit all of humanity for God surely made it because it is good.

Now this G spot isn't something you can google and get an answer to; nor can you confidently ask your pastor (because chances are it eluded them too); and OBVIOUSLY not your parents. Over centuries, people have slain each other over it...relationships have ended because of it and I'm certain many have found it but some how forgot to share it. I'm talking about the God Spot (in case you were wondering the women's g spot is simply located on the front vaginal wall between 11-1 o clock depending).

What is this God Spot I'm talking about? It is the spot which we can touch upon as humans and make the most positive impact. Raise your hands up if you see my analogy. People have gone on christian crusades and tried to hit the G spot, extremes do bombings for Allah (A-bomb?) and we still work our asses off to a good end. But really, I have to ask if that's truly satisfying to us and to God.

To paint this in more common terms: it's like when you're craving something and you eat a buffet to not hit the spot. You probably just needed one single bite of cheesecake. It's like when you read pages and pages of explanation for a concept and only needed the formula . And probably a lot of people will do a lot of things out of love for their loved ones only to find them unsatisfied. All they needed to do was one thing; they did a thousand and a thousand were worthless. That's not hitting the G Spot. All actions were little to no impact regardless of intent. The secret to finding the G Spot is to align intent with impact, consciously. 


It's not always the complex things that have the most impact but most of us think it is. I can look at the most elaborate presentation and watch a commercial for charities and it won't impact me. But seeing a hidden camera shoot 2 minutes of a little Indian girl sleeping on the streets will break my heart. Going on a family vacation and dropping a large sum of money won't remind me my parents love me. Seeing my mother cry when I share my joys with her does. Crying takes 2 seconds. Vacation takes weeks. I might remember the vacation but I wouldn't forget love.


We were made in God's image and but somehow few of us really think about His wisdom. When we imitate Jesus we make it a thing to be holy but we forgot the impact. Sometimes being unholy is the necessary evil as long as intent lines up. Jesus did many things. Jesus did things that took one second; Jesus did things that took years. Whatever he did though, it had and has IMPACT. We forget that salt has impact, we think it has "flavor." We forget light has impact, we think it has uses.

Don't do things easy or difficult to massage your ego or to convince yourself you're worthy of God's love. You're not and won't ever be. Grace makes you worthy alone. So instead focus on what you can accomplish - acting for impact. People who act without thinking of impact cannot be condemned because few ever think this way. But if wisdom calls you on the street and she's hugging tightly onto you, don't deny her. Now that I've shared my views, think about it. If it makes sense to you then live it and be impactful. You can do many "holy" things and say you're like Christ. Good for you. But if you're not int he slight bit intending to maximize your impact then I think you missed out on one of the most prominent qualities of Jesus.

Some blog posts are short and succinct and this one's longer than most expect. But no matter the length of time it takes I'll always try to hit the G Spot. Hopefully those on the receiving end agree.

Men of Few Words

What happens when a man who's been silent speaks for the first time on film? Thoughts that action cannot portray. Proof that a book is not to be judged by its cover. There was nothing goofy, lighthearted or funny about this man. And in those 3 minutes we perhaps got to understand him for the first time in his career.
No matter what we do for a living we can all inspire and fight for a greater good. Even if we fail, we tried. To have never tried would have been the pity. Few will ever think of this speech when they read the name Charlie Chaplin. But this is the message he wanted to leave behind; this is his legacy.

Alt + Delete, Where's Ctrl?

Control is a funny thing because few people understand it. In their pursuit of control they literally let the chase control them. This ironic result is due to most other problems in life and that's looking through the lenses in the wrong perspective.

What's most interesting to me is that humans tend to want control over the most insignificant things just because they feel like they CAN control the outcome. Yet when it comes to things that are perceived to be bigger than themselves they abstain involvement because they're convinced that they have ZERO control over the result.

Just recently Yonge and Sheppard area started constructing for new condos and going north on Yonge has slowed down to a crawl. People will scatter east and west taking small streets and huge detours in their effort to arrive north of Yonge and Sheppard at a faster speed than if they were to just go north patiently. What's funny is that after their huge detour and effort to assert control over the outcome, they arrive about the same time as if they were to just do nothing. But a huge number of people will choose the first action because they want control. The end result is rarely their concern as the impact of their actions were pointless at best.

The other extreme of this need for pointless control is when people abstain from voting. Most people that don't vote will say something like "I don't know enough about the candidates" or "I don't like any of them" or something along those lines. Truth is they simply feel their ONE vote will have no control over the outcome of the election.

What's comical is that people merely exert effort as long as there's a sense on control. They ignore the actual IMPACT of the end result. It is TRUE that by turning  and cutting through small streets you MIGHT be able to shave 2 minutes off waiting - at the expense of higher probability of getting into an accident, wasting more gas, and possible being later because of 12,000 other people who want control going the same route. It is also TRUE that your one vote is insignificant among 500,000 other votes. But what of the outcome? One you influenced on saving 2 mins of your day; the other you forgone the opportunity to save the country from a term ruled by a complete moron.

My point isn't to make you go vote. That's merely to illustrate my view on control and how people perceive it. But what I do want is for people to THINK more about their need for control and if there really is any benefit to having it. Sometimes it's better to not be in control because there's really nothing you can do even if you tried your hardest (traffic example). Sometimes you have to try your hardest even if you have so little control over the outcome (fighting cancer, voting etc). If you choose to be lead by someone then don't be a back seat driver. Your control exertion should have occurred at the time you chose the leader not after you have chosen them. After that you should only choose if you will continue to let them lead or if you will stop following them.

So by my logic why have I chosen to follow God yet try so hard to control Him? Because just as I've written this whole thing on the logical fallacies of control; we commit logical fallacies against God.