Monday, February 8, 2010

Broken Hearts/Broken Promises

A memory etched in my brain forever:

"I don't want to! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!"
"...What? Stop...why are you freaking out?"
"I don't want to be that girl"
"...You don't want to be my girl?"
"I know I'm just going to be that girl who preps you into a better man so that another girl would end up having you"
"........no, you won't..I promise."

A conversation between my first girlfriend and I.
That was the first promise I've ever broken. It was the first pair of hearts I've ever broken. 

After each heartbreak we wonder how to take away the pain. It seems like it'd last forever and each moment in itself is already forever. But really, to triumph over such simple matters of the heart (yes, simple) is just a faithful leap away. Believe that God has it all planned out for you...and if you truly have faith in that, you have the good, the bad, and the ugly of every experience as a stepping stone to what He has ultimately written for you. We meet people for a reason and each of them serve a purpose in our life. If we realize that, we can wholesomely accept ended relationships and lovingly embrace new ones.

The only problem is, no one can help you believe it unless you want to. Too many times we hold on to what was and never let go. We're afraid that if we let go it will be gone, forever. I wouldn't say it's the case. Every finished relationship, although ended, still has its everlasting effects on us regardless of what we want to believe. It becomes a part of us and shapes us into what we're to be...all in His time.

I think this is what my last relationship taught me the most. I learned how to be at peace no matter how much it hurt at one point. I had to break a heart...and it hurt me even more. But amidst the pain, wisdom sprout up into understanding. Sometimes I wish I hadn't...but it's the way things are and that's the way things will be. I know it made me a better man and I can love the next one better.

How many more stairs until I reach the top? I hope the next one is the last step because I'm getting tired of climbing.

Here, bring your innocence back and forget the hurt. This one's for you http://pixdaus.com/single.php?id=134255
Cute, right?

4 comments:

  1. I thought I'd be in for the climb... more time to think about what I wanted to see at the top... But I'm getting tired too.

    (y) mr. sun.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i like your stair analogy haha
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i havent even climbed on my first step yet. LAME.

    ReplyDelete