"Dumbasses are dumb and asses" - ME!

Who can't stand dumbasses? Hands up with me. But man, if we're gonna be talking about dumbasses let's BREAK IT DOWN. This is about to get real scientific and ishhhhh.


People who are bad at school: These people don't qualify as dumbasses, you dumbass.


People who try to convince people they aren't dumbasses: People who ask stupid questions during lectures qualify. I don't mean the ones who ask questions that are easy. I mean the people who ask questions pretending to be insightful and educated whilst the question has absolutely no relevance to the topic at hand. Congratulations, you've won a prize. Claim your free asshat at the local guido club.


People who have NO common sense: Now, THESE people are dumbasses. They get in the way of EVERYTHING. You know those people who are clumsy and trip over anything , well tripping over is funny but when you're socially tripping over everything, you my friend, are a dumbass. 


People who are all up on that high school drama shit: THESE people are even a greater level of dumbassness. It's epic fail to even be in that situation at our age but they eat that shit up like they're flies. MMMM BULLSHIT love it and live it. Dumbass.


People who grunt at the gym: Alright, this gets pseudo science. If you're grunting and pressing like 95s on each hand, cool. If you're grunting on the LAST reps of the LAST set, cool. If you're grunting while pressing 25s on the first set of the first rep through the last set of the last rep...congratulations my friend, you-are-a-dumbass. You look, sound and SHOULD feel stupid. But you don't...which makes you an even bigger dumbass.


People who think they're so awesome they quote themselves: THE hands down dumbass king. How the hell do you figure you sound so awesome you have to quote yourself? Cmon man, seriously? I see this guy on facebook and I look at his info. This guys one of those REAL motivated, or seemingly so, people. Got quotes from everything and everyone regardless if they're applicable to life. I'm thinking "Wow, this guys so dumb" as I'm reading down his info and as I see the favourite quote section I figure it'd be something from a notable person. "Always press on! Never give up! One more time." - ME.


The motherfu-- quotes himself. Alright, let's step back a second...if you're Aristotle and bust out this
“We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” —Aristotle 
That is cool man. Congrats on that insight. Hell, the other side of the argument is that if you're as smart and insightful as Aristotle you wouldn't be caught quoting your own pretentious ass to begin with. No really, check Aristotle's facebook, dudes quoting Socrates instead (nerdy philosophy joke? No? Ok...)


This guy who quotes himself sounds like he's the captain of the asshat ship. Oh yea, ship has sailed LONG time ago. "One more time" Really? Sound like a Daft Punk song rolling out of the club. If you're really that quotable don't fret, other people will undoubtedly paraphrase you or even quote you. Don't quote yourself please, you sound more stupid than Birtney Spears: "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."


Likewise, on the contrary to Aristotle, the fact that you THOUGHT your quote was memorable brands some triple A quality dumbass seal into that ass you call a head.